September 4, 2003
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in this issue
-- The "Teaser" Meets The "Closer"
-- Answer to Last Week's Brainteaser
-- Recommended Reading
-- This Week in Pictures
-- World's Fastest Soccer Players
-- Yeah, but how many horses under the hood?
-- Please Keep Your Carp to Yourself
-- Dental Hygienist Hijinks
-- Krispy Kreme acquires Red Lobster
-- This Week's Brainteaser
-- Open Foot . . . Insert Mouth

The "Teaser" Meets The "Closer" back to top
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I was a junior in college driving my father's Chevy Citation near Chicago when I heard a loud clunk that sounded like a transmission falling onto the pavement.

To my chagrin, I had identified the sound correctly. When I realized that MY transmission was the culprit, I broke out into a cold sweat.

Note to General Motors management: I don't know much about transmissions, but it's probably best not to make critical drive train components out of Papier Mache and plastic.

Back to my dilemma. Who shall I call?

A familiar voice started running through my head. It was Claude Akins repeating a phrase I've heard him utter a thousand times before.

"When you need transmission work, go see the pros at AAMCO.


That's Double A (beep, beep) M. C. O."


AAMCO's commitment to national branding pays off. For the first time in my life I need a transmission, and AAMCO has successfully rented space in my head through repetition of their slogan.

That's what we call "Teaser" advertising. Herb Gordon, the Grand Poobah of the Association of Directory Marketing calls it "Mass Marketing."

AAMCO has teased me by bombarding me with their ads for years during the Gilligan's Island reruns that occupied my after school hours when I was supposed to be studying.

AAMCO has walked me to the altar with all their teasing advertising, now it's time for them to close the deal. They need strong "Closer" advertising.

AAMCO reaps the rewards of their TV advertising by placing ads in the local Yellow Pages that direct me to their closest location. I looked in the Chicago Suburbs Yellow Pages (I didn't pay nearly as much attention to Yellow Pages back then), and looked under "Transmissions."

If AAMCO didn't have an ad, they would have lost me to one of the dozens of transmission repair services that advertised in that directory. I would have been "Closed" by their competition and all of AAMCO's TV advertising would have been wasted.




I don't recall how much I spent on that transmission, but I know it was a significant percentage of my overall net worth. It was AAMCO's investment in the Yellow Pages that made their investment in TV advertising produce results.



The Yellow Pages Integrated Media Association has some research that shows how the Yellow Pages extends the effectiveness of other advertising media.

Answer to Last Week's Brainteaser back to top
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My goodness, it's certainly a good thing that we're not running a sawmill. I've never received so many wrong answers before on a brainteaser.

Here's how it went.

Buford and Festus got themselves jobs in a sawmill.

The boss told each of them that he needed a large piece of wood cut into 16 equal smaller pieces.

The original piece of wood measures 8 inches by 8 inches by 8 feet long.

What are the fewest number of cuts that they can make and accomplish this goal?

Click Here to See the Answer & Our Winner

Recommended Reading back to top
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Who has time to read when they're doing windshield time calling on accounts? This week, I'm including a great audio book.

Zig Ziglar is one of the most successful sales and motivational trainers in history. Listening to empowering messages when you're driving to an appointment is one of the best ways to create the positive attitude that buyers look for. This is a very cost effective way to improve your performance. Buy Zig Ziglar's 5 Steps to Successful Selling for $11.20 at Amazon.

I am amazed that more of the professionals in this industry haven't bought this book to help their people become more successful. If you won't invest in training your people, how do you expect them to build the skills they need? This is an outstanding book on Yellow Pages advertising. It helps anyone who relies on the Yellow Pages for customers to design ads that will have the maximum impact. It's specifically targeted to attorneys, but the lessons apply to every Yellow Pages advertiser. Buy it at Amazon.

This Week in Pictures back to top
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It's about time a "real man" designed a coffee table.

QwestDex Sued over RCF Lines

World's Fastest Soccer Players back to top
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I was never that interested in watching soccer before, but this would make it a lot more exciting.

The Problem with Most Yellow Pages Ads

Yeah, but how many horses under the hood? back to top
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Yugo has just introduced a sedan with more horsepower than their previous models.

World's Laziest Man Invents BANDAIDs

Please Keep Your Carp to Yourself back to top
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I've got to wonder how bad the problem of throwing fish on the road is here to warrant putting up this sign.

How to Create Powerful Ads

Dental Hygienist Hijinks back to top
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How you really feel inside shouldn't necessarily affect the expression people see on your face.

Happy Birthday to the Yellow Pages

Krispy Kreme acquires Red Lobster back to top
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Franchises now available in your area.

Try one of our Sweet Glazed Catfish Twisters with your morning coffee.

Yum!

What Makes Krispy Kreme Successful

This Week's Brainteaser back to top
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Buford goes into a hardware store to buy something for his house trailer. When asked the price, the clerk replies,

"the price of one is twelve cents, the price of forty-four is twenty-four cents, and the price of a hundred and forty-four is thirty-six cents.

Even with both shoes off and counting on his toes, Buford is confounded.

What in tarnation is Buford trying to buy?

Email your answer to puzzler@dicklarkin.com

We'll select one entry to win a cool prize with a year's supply of bragging rights.



Quote of the week back to top
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I never did give them hell. I just told the truth, and they thought it was hell.

- Harry S Truman (1884 - 1972), in Look, Apr. 3, 1956

Open Foot . . . Insert Mouth back to top
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Last week, I spoofed a news release about Neg Norton being selected to head the YPIMA.

I included an unflattering photograph of Ed Norton and Ralph Kramden of the Honeymooners identifying Neg and Elmer Smith as the characters.

Some of my readers took offense to the satire and felt it was in poor taste portraying the organization in an unfavorable light. I appreciate their comments. It's fair to point out that the complaining parties were not closely associated with Neg, Elmer or their organizations.

I apologize to all who were offended. My pokes at the YPIMA and its leadership were intended to be funny, not to disparage their critical role representing the industry.

On a side note, I was pleased that Elmer Smith and the YPIMA board took quick action to change the direction of the YPIMA's leadership. I'm hopeful that the YPIMA can accomplish some of the goals Elmer discussed at the last convention.

Want to see who complained?