March 30, 2004
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in this issue
-- Would you like a Rolls Royce with that, sir?
-- The Wipeout Technique rocks!
-- Answer to Last Week's Brainteaser
-- Lawyers in the Yellow Pages? God bless 'em.
-- This Week in Pictures
-- InfoSpace Acquires Switchboard
-- AFLAC trainees
-- Heartbreak Hotel
-- Biker Chicks
-- Only short busses in this parking lot
-- This Week's Brainteaser
-- Quote of the Week

There were two major acquisitions in the Yellow Pages space this week. Feist Publications was purchased by Yellowbook and Switchboard was purchased by InfoSpace.

Both companies sold at premium prices indicating that there is quite a bit of value yet to be realized in this industry.

Would you like a Rolls Royce with that, sir? back to top
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I’ve been enjoying the reality TV show, “The Apprentice,” where Donald Trump puts a bevy of young wannabes through a series of creative business challenges to see who will get to stick around and who will get fired.

One of the things about the show that I find compelling is the way that the teams are required to come up with creative approaches to real life business situations and then put those ideas immediately into action.

One of Trump’s greatest strengths is his ability to survive from adversity by finding creative solutions to difficult problems.

His first grandiose real estate venture was Trump Tower in Manhattan. He secured a parcel of the world’s choicest property and built fabulous condominiums. They continue to be among the most expensive residences in the world.

By the time the building was ready for occupancy, the New York economy was in the tank, and nobody wanted to buy his high priced haunts.

Rather than cutting prices and cheapening his asset, “The Donald” offered a complimentary Rolls Royce with the purchase of one of his condos. It was ridiculous, outrageous, and brilliant.

Because it was so outrageous, he received an incredible amount of press coverage and free publicity about his extravagant offer. Giving a discount on the price isn’t newsworthy, but throwing in a Rolls Royce Silver Shadow was wacky enough to get repeated airtime on every network.

He also played into the basic human desire of wanting to get something for nothing. If he lowered the price, his customers would only receive momentary satisfaction by chiseling a few hundred grand off the price of their condo. Instead they walked away with a beautiful Rolls Royce, an incredible trophy that would show everyone they knew that they had finally hit the big time.

When you face a difficult marketing dilemma, think of how an outrageous marketer like Donald Trump would approach it. Ask yourself, “What could I give to this customer that would absolutely knock his socks off and give him some tangible trophy to brag about taking advantage of this offer.”

Here's the Bottom Line:

Find out how to give a prospect something worth bragging about, and you'll earn a loyal customer.


Remember, everybody loves getting something extra, even if it's just a Rolls Royce.

The Wipeout Technique rocks! back to top
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My friend Steve Hackney wrote a series of marketing pieces designed for service businesses to leverage their marketing dollars.

Being a curious sort, I read all of them and am happy to pass them along to you.

His approach is thought provoking and quite informative.

I could go on and on, but I'll let you be the judge.

More info on The Wipeout Technique and the other goodies

Answer to Last Week's Brainteaser back to top
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Buford and Festus have plenty of work to do getting ready for tonight's Big Hoedown. That's what they call the annual party when Mabel comes down from the fabulous penthouse apartment.

Buford and Festus have to
1. clean the catfish
2. mow the lawn
3. shovel out the barn for the dance


Each of these chores, when done by one person, takes one hour.

If they start at noon, what could they do to take as little time as possible if they have only one catfish cleaning knife, one lawn mower, and one shovel?

C'mon now . . . this wasn't that tricky.

See the Answer & Our Celebrity Winner

Lawyers in the Yellow Pages? God bless 'em. back to top
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This is my favorite book on Yellow Pages advertising. It helps anyone who relies on the Yellow Pages for customers to design ads that will have the maximum impact.

It's specifically targeted to attorneys, but the lessons apply to every Yellow Pages advertiser. I like that it's filled with specific tips that any business owner can immediately use to create advertising that is much more appealing to the precise customers he wants.

I've had the opportunity to talk with Kerry Randall, the author. He's a delightful guy who approaches Yellow Pages advertising through the eyes of a designer and an advertising agency strategist.

Buy "Effective Yellow Pages Advertising for Lawyers" at Amazon.com

This Week in Pictures back to top
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We installed a high-tech security system at our house. Anyone who breaks in can be tracked down by the trail of drool they leave behind.

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And now a word from our sponsor . . .

This newsletter is underwritten by generous support of TransWestern Publishing, one of the nation's leading independent publishers of telephone directories. Serving 25 states with 332 directories, TransWestern delivers outstanding value to a quarter million local advertisers.

We may not make the most noise in the market place, but we consistently deliver outstanding value for our advertisers.

All in all, it's a very rewarding place to work where individual accomplishment is recognized and rewarded.

We have management positions open in 20 states.

InfoSpace Acquires Switchboard back to top
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This week InfoSpace acquired Switchboard (the company that provides technology to WorldPages.com).

I suppose that means I'll become InfoSpace's customer again.

I'm not exactly sure how I feel about that.

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Everybody knows what the RASCIL factors are, right?

Here's my take on the special sauce that builds the most effective ads possible.

The Little RASCILS

AFLAC trainees back to top
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I understand the AFLAC training program is really tough.

If you don't pass, your goose is cooked.

Man, was that lame or what?

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Special note to the CMRs (Certified Marketing Representatives) . . .

We've put tons of information for you in the "About Us" section of WorldPages.com.

You will find complete information on directory profiles, demographics, and coverage areas.

We've also put up results of metered call studies and testimonials from advertisers across the land.

The Businesses & Team Members section should be particularly useful.

Check out the depth of information at WorldPages.com

Heartbreak Hotel back to top
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Before Elvis released his smash hit, "Heartbreak Hotel", he had a few lesser known recordings about other lodgings.

I've added some more Yellow Pages Tips to my website

Biker Chicks back to top
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Guys with motorcycles get all the chicks.

So I guess it stands to reason that guys with mopeds get all the chickens.

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The way you shake a person's hand is often the way they judge your honesty and integrity.

Read about "The Secret Handshake"

Only short busses in this parking lot back to top
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Winners advance to the next round, losers have to put up the sign.

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Speaking of busses, I spent some time checking out the ads on bus benches for a real estate agent friend of mine.

An analysis of the "Bus Bench Ad" and the Yellow Pages

This Week's Brainteaser back to top
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Buford and Festus got jobs working on a bucket brigade in the coalmine. After the first day on the job, they emerged into the bright light of day.

Buford’s face was covered with coal dust whereas Festus’s face was remarkably clean.

They walked over to the pump to clean up. Festus washed his face thoroughly, but Buford didn’t wash his at all.

Other than their spotty records of personal hygiene, why would Festus wash his clean face and Buford not wash his dirty face?

Email your answer to puzzler@dicklarkin.com

We'll select one entry to win one of the few remaining bottle-poppers with a year's supply of bragging rights.

To improve your random chances of winning, please include your name, company name and mailing address.


Quote of the Week back to top
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I am looking for a lot of men who have an infinite capacity to not know what can't be done.

If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing, you're right.

Nothing is particularly hard if you divide it into small jobs.

Henry Ford (1863 - 1947)




If you think your task at hand is difficult, consider Henry Ford's obstacles. He was trying to sell cars before there were paved roads or gas stations.